In her bestselling book, Untamed, Glennon Doyle examines the way women cage themselves due to societal conditioning. We settle for a small, mediocre life because we’ve been conditioned not to strive for anything more. Yet if we’re honest with ourselves, we have an unshakeable inner voice questioning, “Isn’t life meant to be more beautiful than this?”
One aspect of conditioning that has a huge impact on our ability to realise our full potential is the set of beliefs we form around money. Some call it our money mindset or our money energy. I like to refer to it as our money story – the beliefs we’ve accumulated over the course of our life that affect our behaviour, our reactions and our choices.
Our money story impacts how much we strive to earn, how much we save, how much we share as well as our ideas around financial security and empowerment. It also affects how we respond to others when they are earning well or struggling to make ends meet. It shows up in all areas of our life, in what we attract and what we believe we are worth.
Our money stories begin to take shape during childhood as we observe and absorb the money stories our parents have taken on, usually from generations before them.
If our money story is limiting us, we can make the conscious decision to rewrite it – to upgrade our beliefs and attract more than we ever realised possible. In short, we can let go of the generational shit that is holding us back. We can let of someone else’s belief that keeps us stuck and struggling. I know because I’ve done it.
When some people found out that my husband and I grew a six-figure-per-month business, they referred to us as “greedy”. Instead of getting offended by their misconception, I thought to myself, I wonder what money story is making them react in such a negative and judgmental way. Copping criticism made me grateful for the mentors I’ve been blessed with who’ve helped challenge all my misconceptions and limiting beliefs.
The truth is, we need more good humans with cash flow. We need more generous people with money who are willing to pay it forward. Our money stories impact our behaviour, just like other people’s money stories impact their perceptions of us.
For some people, financial freedom is earning an extra $1,000 per week. For others, it could be earning an extra $200 or an extra $20,000. Some people don’t believe they deserve money. Some save while others squander. Some celebrate other people’s success while others are eaten up with jealousy. Why? MONEY STORIES!
Money amplifies who we are. If you’re a generous person, it gives you the freedom to support causes you care about and share your success. If you’re a tight arse, money will make you even more selfish as you clutch it close to your chest or store it under your mattress. Being triggered or feeling judgmental towards others reveals inner wounds you may need to heal.
When I was growing up, I often heard the words, “We can’t afford it”. I watched my cousins travel all over the world during the school holidays while we stayed home. I watched my mother sneak things she bought into the house when Dad wasn’t watching because buying anything you didn’t absolutely need was frowned upon. Little did I know but every day, my money story was being written. And that cycle continues. Every day, you are writing your kids’ money stories.
In my 20s, I would shop when I felt down in the dumps, feel the highs and then feel guilty afterwards. As my income grew, I would still hear a voice telling me, “You can’t afford it” even though I could. I would tell my kids that I couldn’t afford things, even though I could. I recognised that there was generational shit holding me back and I made a choice to rewrite my money story so it stopped limiting me and I could stop passing it on to my kids.
These days I love money and money loves me. I don’t have any hang-ups about what I earn. I love sharing money with others and I don’t shop to fill a void then beat myself up about it. The money I earn funds a life filled with connection and adventure as I travel all over the world with my husband and kids. Money helps me build the skills of my team and support them to achieve audacious goals.
I’ve learned that when you’re brave enough to shed the shackles of other people’s expectations, a whole new and exciting world opens up. When you look inwards and recognise the biases and preconceptions that are holding you back, you can give them the flick and start living your life, your way. I did it so I know you can too.
I want you to start thinking about your own money story or beliefs and ask:
While you’re working on that, I have some essential reading for you:
These books are life-changing and I don’t use that word lightly.
Your growth will be scary for those who don’t want change. Do it anyway. Be brave enough to rewrite your money story and discover the joy on the other side of fear. I’ll be right hear cheering you on. Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.
If you need a partner in cutting out the crap and living life on your own terms, check out my coaching programs. I’d love to challenge, guide, inspire and empower you. If you are looking to transition from employee to entrepreneur or add an income stream to give your family more choices. Be curious. Be open. Ask the questions.
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